Absent Thoughts
by ThatisneverThat
Summary: Jane Rizzoli needs to get this letter to Maura written. But she's no idea what to write, or how to say it. Problem? Definitely. One Shot. I know the summary isn't great... sorry! Story is better!


**Hey all! **

**I'm having awful block with my other 2 stories right now, so I'm really sorry if anyone is waiting for updates on those! I will do my best (but I am away for 8 days on Friday and have 2 weeks of exams after…).**

**Anyway, on to this! Just a little one shot that popped in to my head last night, so I wrote it. Hope you enjoy, let me know what you think :) And thanks to Katniss17 for being my very useful beta reader to check that what I'm writing isn't entire rubbish!**

**Re-uploaded for slight confusion at the end of the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Neither Rizzoli, Isles or any other characters or places or… yeh. The show doesn't belong to me.**

_Dear Maura, _Was 'Dear' right? Maybe 'To' was more appropriate. Or just Maura? Jane could tell this was going to be a long night. It had been an incredibly long week, they'd only just managed to wrap the case up and she'd been working on it pretty much 24/7 for the past 5 days; much to Maura's dislike. As she had been told all week, she was indeed absolutely shattered now, but she couldn't sleep now.

_Maura, I don't really know how to start this. _No, that would never work. She'd point out that the statement cancelled itself out, and as much as Jane had grown to find the google talk quite sweet, this wasn't the time for it. 'Come on Jane get your brain in gear!' She found herself getting up for yet another coffee – had to stay awake somehow. As she waited for the kettle to boil she started thinking about how long she could go without sleep. 'Hallucinations begin by day 4, followed by slurred speech, short attention span, and death.' It surprised her how many of Maura's random facts she could remember when certain subjects came up, and that was one of the regulars. It did, however, bring about the question as to how long before the hallucinations began considering she was fairly certain this was indeed day 4 without any sleep at all, and where did talking to yourself factor in to this? 'Thank God for coffee' she mumbled, wandering back over to her bed with her mug and pen.

_Maura, you know you're incredibly hard to write for? Can't even express a simple message to you without being sat here all night. _Yet another piece of paper found its way to the floor screwed up. Maura didn't actually need to know that, but now she just seemed to be writing her thoughts down as they came which wasn't going to get her anywhere. And besides, if Maura found out she'd stayed up tonight as well, especially to write this, the lecture would be incredible. As it was her friend had been texting her since they left work checking that Jane was going to sleep now the case was finally over. She had agreed – it wasn't so much a lie, more of the truth a little bit early – she would sleep, just maybe not for a few hours yet. This was too important just to set aside for a little sleep, it physically could not be put off any longer.

_Maura, we've known each other for a long time now. I hope you can understand that it has been difficult for me to write this which is why it might not be as good as it could be._ So the sentences were getting longer and it was beginning to sound more and more like she was about to tell Maura her dog had just died. Or turtle, tortoise, whatever, nothing and no one was dying. At least not in their circle of people, if people didn't die in general she'd be out of a job. 'How on earth did I end up here? My mind is really wandering today. And I'm still talking to myself.' With a new page, and another sip of coffee, she tried again.

_Maura. _Back to the single words. Why was this so difficult? It wouldn't be difficult to tell anyone else the same things, after all she was Jane. She'd just tell them straight and let them take whatever they wanted from it. For some reason this whole thing was a hundred times more difficult than it should have been, just like many things with Dr Isles. Not that she would ever complain of course, just get slightly frustrated about waiting for results for Maura to tell her something they could have assumed a while earlier… but never complaining. To be honest, the few real times her and Maura had argued, Jane had ended up hating herself afterwards. At the end of the day, Maura couldn't help who she was, where she came from and her differences. It was what made Maura, Maura.

_I can't lie; I think you're possibly the best friend I've ever had. Alright, you have your faults, but I'm the one that causes you panic every other week. _'I must be tired. I'm going all soppy. I never go soppy.' This time the whole pad ended up on the floor and Jane ended up horizontal on the bed. Jane was beginning to give up hope of ever working out what she was honestly trying to write. Staring at the ceiling she began to wonder what on earth she was going to do about this whole situation. Was she taking it too seriously? Probably… but right now her phone was ringing. Wait, at this time of night? She did not need a homicide tonight…. Jane grabbed it, and answered with a slightly sleepy 'Rizzoli.'

"You're still awake! I knew it! Jane the case is over, stop worrying about it." For some reason Jane threw something to cover up the pad, before realising Maura couldn't actually see her. Though she did somehow know she was awake…

"I could have been asleep until you phoned you know?" She lay back down gently.

"But were you?" She really should have seen that one coming, maybe her brain was mush.

"Well… no, but I was lying down on my bed. I was half way there. How did you even know?" A genuine question, Jane had no idea how Maura's mind worked sometimes.

"You were lying when you told me you would go straight to bed. And you still seemed stressed despite the case being over. You caught the bad guys Jane, what's wrong?" Now that was an answer that would need thought. She couldn't tell Maura now what was bothering her, that was the point of all this writing!  
'She can't see my face… I can lie right?'  
"What?"

"Nothing Maur. I'm fine, honestly. Probably just overtired which is why I can't sleep you know? I'll get there soon. But probably not while I'm on the phone, and you should be asleep too. So I will see you tomorrow yes?" If it was any other night she would probably stay on the phone and talk to her but tonight, this needed finishing. And she should probably get some sort of sleep to make it slightly less obvious tomorrow.

"I take that to mean you would like me to hang up? I understand. Sleep well Jane." Maura was getting better at hints, which played in Jane's favour right now. However it was now half 1 in the morning, and there was still a pile of paper on the floor.

_Maura, There's only one person I would ever allow to phone me at 1 in the morning and not snap their head off. _Now that sounded like a line… it was not a line! Actually, Maura would argue it was a line of text and that the line Jane was referring to was in fact… oh who cares, it wasn't anyway! It seemed to be impossible to write a letter to Maura, to say a simple thing, and not make it sound either depressing or a little too much. Another coffee was needed.

She stood up and made her way back to the kitchen, this time Jo Friday was awake and followed her there.  
"Sorry, not morning yet. Just coffee time." As she flicked the kettle on, Jane concluded it was slightly less weird to talk to her dog than thin air. "You know, it might seem a little silly that I'm staying up so late just for this. But if I don't give this to her tomorrow well, let's face it; it would be a little silly to give it to her after did I would have to change the whole wording and we're having enough problems with the original. Any ideas Jo?" A woof was returned; Jane rolled her eyes and grabbed her coffee. "Never mind, I'll try again."

_Woof. _'I really have no ideas.'

When she woke up, it was 8am. The pad was on her face and Jo Friday was curled up beside her. And she had to leave for work. It didn't take her long to get up, showered and dressed, but she still had a dilemma. After much thought (about 2 minutes, she didn't have long), Jane grabbed the pad, and accompanying objects, and left for work.

_Maura, you're pretty important to me, not gonna lie. _

"Jane, the pen tapping is pretty aggravating, what on earth is going on?" Frost finally perked up. Jane had been betting with herself how long before he said something given the constant looks for the past half hour. She'd won.

"Last time I checked; nothing. Hence why I'm trying to do this instead of being anywhere else." If she told him the truth, he'd just laugh.

"And that would be…? More to the point, why aren't you in the autopsy room?" Sighing, she put the pad down, having got no further. She looked at the clock; only 10 hours to go… and she should probably work at some point.

"It would be private and because neither I, nor no one else in Boston is dead through suspicious circumstances." Frost simply laughed, so Jane glared. "What is so funny?" Korsak joined in from across the room, clearly having paid attention to the conversation at hand. Jane sighed and looked back at the pad, trying to ignore the two men going on the basis it was something she probably didn't want to know the answer to anyway.

"I believe they're laughing at the fact that you're starting to speak a little like me, though without them saying so I can't be sure." Jane jumped, and turned around, covering the notepad with an old case file that was sat on her desk. "However I was wondering why I haven't heard from you all day."

Admittedly it was unusual for her not to go down there and chat all morning when they didn't have too much on, but that would defeat the object of writing this without her seeing it first, if she found out before receiving it…  
"Paperwork. It can only be avoided for so long." Maura seemed to accept this and handed her a coffee. Anybody else would then either sit down, talk, or leave. But Maura, of course, stood and stared at her face. Jane decided the best action here would be to pretend it wasn't happening, and therefore turned back round to her desk. Not long after, Maura left.

"What on earth just happened?" Frost questioned. Jane sighed, everyone misses details sure but this one was pretty obvious.

"Maura came in, heard the end of our conversation – which I haven't forgotten about by the way! Then she gave me coffee, stared a while to check I slept last night and left realising I really do have paperwork to do, as does she. Does that answer your question? Good. Now, I'm busy." They seemed to get the picture, and she returned to her notepad.

_Maura, you are the most sane person I work with sometimes, and that's saying something._

_9:45pm. Still in the office. Need to leave in 5 minutes and I'm still trying to write this. Could we just call it dedication and hope you accept that? _

"Jane what are you still doing here? You won't have time to change before…" Korsak was never going to be allowed to finish that sentence, the mood Jane had been in today, no one would.

"I'm perfectly aware of that. I'll be there on time, with appropriate accompaniment. Go on, you need to be there before me." He left without another word, allowing Jane to return to her pad. 'Come on, 5 minutes Jane… it's not looking good right now'. Suddenly, an idea came. 5 minutes later she'd finished, and headed off to Maura's.

**_A few minutes_ later...**

"SURPRISE!" Jane almost jumped herself, and she was expecting everyone jumping out when they arrived at the final destination. Maura looked incredibly happy at the number of people in the room. She expressed her thanks to everyone while Jane stared at the envelope in her hand. 'Well, I tried my best.'

"Here you are Maur," she handed the envelope over, trying to smile convincingly.

Maura opened it, chuckling slightly at the front of the card. Inside, it read,

_Maura,_

_Happy Birthday,_

_Love Jane x_

_PS. You know what your present is! No more complaining about reddish brown stains for another year... _

**So there we go. Don't know where that came from, but I hope you enjoyed! **

**As I said, let me know what you think! Was the idea good? Etc.**

**Love to you all,**

**Steph x x**


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